just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
