Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
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Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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