dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i will never coherently bang her
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize