Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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