Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
