Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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