DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
