i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
