I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
