Yo dont text me then not text me
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You made out with two different species that night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
