im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
