Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
