Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
