woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize