We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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