dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
