i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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