she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
