My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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