Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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