but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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