My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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