I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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