No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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