Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
