I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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