im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wear drunk well.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
