this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
