We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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