So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
