i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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