I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
