Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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