So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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