Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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