Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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