how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
