After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Your penis caused this!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
