Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
