i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
