just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
