I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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