The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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