So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
