i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
