1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
