I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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