the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
