she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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