I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
