did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
