Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
