Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
