I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
