420 ftw
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
