I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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