Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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