p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
