Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
