sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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