i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
