Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize